I survived!

Well, my first day back at work is behind me and I survived - not without a few tears, but I made it!

Tuesday was really bad for me - I think the anticipation of going back to work was worse than actually doing it. I was just holding onto Aven all day and would tear up every so often at the thought of leaving her. We snuggled on the couch most of the day and I took lots of pics and videos to get me through the workdays. Tyge brought me beautiful pink roses on Tuesday night which made me smile and was so thoughtful.

So I put Aven to bed and went to bed myself, but had a really hard time falling asleep. I didn't sleep too well and popped right out of bed when my alarm went off at 6 AM - I was already up. I was able to shower and get myself ready, then woke her at 7 to nurse and hang out for an hour until Stephanie (our nanny) got there. When she asked how I was doing I teared up again...luckily Aven was sleeping when I left which made it easier. I did cry most of the way to work, despite listening to cheery Christmas music. I walked into work and was greeted with smiles, cheers, hugs, flowers, and brownies! It was such a warm welcome and it did feel good to be back. Like I've said, I really love my job and the people I work with so that made it easier to come back. It was so fun to show off pictures of my little girl and catch up with everyone, and I spent most of the morning cleaning out my desk area and chatting. I did get in two pumping sessions and figured out the ins and outs of doing that at work, which made me feel better. I thought about Aven all day and was so happy to get a sweet text from Stephanie with THIS face smiling back at me:

And she had dressed her in her "I Love Mommy" onesie - how cute!

I left work at 4 so was home in time for the 4:30 feed and walked in to a smiley, happy baby girl!

 

My amazing husband came home and cooked a special dinner of crab legs for us, then cleaned up while I snuggled the baby.

 

So the first day is behind me and I hope it only gets easier from here as I figure out the new routine of being a working mom. Thanks for all the prayers and kind texts and phone calls everyone - the support really helped get me through this week!

Our Hospital Stay

So after Miss Aven was born Tyge and I got a few good hours of bonding time in with her and I got to take a bath, then we called the grandparents. We hadn't updated them since heading to the hospital 12+ hours prior, so I'm sure they were wondering what was going on! They wanted us to call anytime day or night so we did exactly that, at about 3 AM! Tyge's folks had driven down to stay at our house minutes from the hospital, and my parents don't live far away so they both came to meet Aven in the middle of the night. We didn't tell them the sex of the baby on the phone and waited until they arrived in person to introduce them to their new grand DAUGHTER, which was really neat.

Just a few hours old

Proud Grandmas meeting her for the first time

 

Exhausted but happy new momma!

My dad was at the Democratic National convention in Tampa for work and I know it killed him to be away when she arrived. I called him separately and told him she was a girl, and he was so thrilled.

After they left, we tried to get some sleep but Aven pretty much cried the whole night in between nursing sessions...I was starving since I had nothing in my stomach from throwing up, so when the cafeteria opened up at 6 AM I ordered breakfast and we were up for the day. We knew we'd have many visitors that day and man, did we ever! We were so blessed to have lots of family and friends visit us that day - I think we had 30+ guests! At one time in the evening, there were 10+ people there at once and I was trying to feed her so the nurse kicked everyone out - oops. That did get a little stressful, but we were so happy to have people come visit us.

With my old roommate Bria and her 3 month old son Louie - one of the many potential boyfriends for Aven :) It seems all my girlfriends have baby boys!

4 generations - Aven, Daddy Tyge, Grandpa Denny, Great Grandpa Carl

 

 

With friend Bridget, who is having a baby in late winter!

 

 

With my best friend Betsy, who has prayed for Aven since before she was born

 

 

Kim holding her

 

 

Proud Unca B and Auntie Naomi

 

 

Cousin Lark seems very excited - they are one year apart and will be the best of friends!

 

After the last guest left around 9 PM on Thursday night, we did sent Aven to the nursery in an attempt to get some sleep since we had been up for almost two days! We managed to get a few hours in, and the nurses would bring her in every 2-3 hours to feed and to check on me. Every nurse and aide there was great and so helpful and I fully took advantage of their knowledge and asked tons of questions. I woke up Friday morning feeling refreshed after actually sleeping some, and I even got to take a shower and do my hair and makeup which felt amazing!

 

Friday was a more low key day with less visitors and just Tyge and I enjoying our new baby girl and getting to know her. Aven had her first pediatric check up - she was perfectly healthy, though she didn't love being naked and cold!

We took a ton of pictures on Friday since we didn't take any the day before (thanks to my mom for capturing some of our visitors!) and here are a few of my favorites:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We also had a few family visitors during the day and Brian and Naomi got to come back Friday around dinnertime as they met her when there were the 10+ people the day before so we wanted to have them back for some more quality time, which was great. My dad also arrived back in MN on Friday night, so got to meet her for the first time as well - that was really special.

 

Memorable story - when my parents were there, we smelled a strong gas odor in our room. Turns out a tanker had overturned a few blocks away and the smell was coming in through the vents. It was really strong in the maternity ward so they evacuated patients and we all had to go in the hallway until the smell cleared. It was a funny sight, all these newborns in their rolling crib/cart things and new mommas in their hospital gowns, hanging out in the hallway. Luckily we were only out there for a hour or so, and it makes for a good story!

So thanks to my daughter for coming 4 minutes into Thursday, we got to stay one more night! I can't imagine having left on Friday....we sent her to the nursery again Friday night and got some more shut eye. "They" say it's best to room in while in the hospital, but I knew I wouldn't have that help with her once we got home, so we opted for sleep and it was a good decision for us. :) Saturday morning we had a discharge class with the nurses, she got checked out by the pediatrician, I got checked out by my midwife, and we were free to go!

Teeny buns and feet!

 

She did NOT like her carseat...and Tyge and I look exhausted!

Leaving the hospital with OUR baby in her carseat was such a surreal feeling! Putting her into the car and driving the 2.2 miles home was so nerve wracking - I think I made Tyge go 10 under the speed limit. We arrived home to a welcoming committee of the grandparents with festive decorations and a yummy brunch.

All in all, it was such a wonderful delivery and a fantastic hospital stay. Everyone we came into contact there was so great and I felt so good about the care both Aven and I received. Coming home was nice as well, but I did miss the hospital those first few days home - having all the help you need at your fingertips was sure great!

Aven's Birth Story: Part 2

Waiting the 45 minutes for the epi (while they got fluid in me and called the anesthesiologist) was the worst - contractions were coming hard and fast and I was ready for relief. When the guy came in I don't even really remember him or the process - he was quick! Side note - Tyge said he was the exact twin of "The Most Interesting Man In The World" from the Dos Equis commercials:

 

I did have two contractions while trying to sit still during while he worked, and Tyge and midwife Mary literally had to help hold me still. Good news was I didn't even feel the needle compared to those!

I got settled in bed as the meds started to work and was so happy to feel relief soon. I got the shakes a bit but they covered me with warming blankets and I was able to lie down for some glorious rest. We turned the lights off, Tyge went out to Chipotle to get something to eat, and I closed my eyes. I didn't sleep but it felt so good to rest my body and mind before pushing. It was the first time I'd smiled since realizing I was in labor early that morning!

 

 

 

Mary checked me about an hour later and happily told me I was at a 10!!! I had dilated from a 5 to a 10 in an hour! She also explained that baby's head was turned a bit and my pre-epi my tense body wasn't able to relax enough to correct it and dilate fully, so once I got the epi and my body relaxed, the head fixed itself and I dilated quickly. She said I could take a little more time to lay and let baby labor down, then around 9:30 PM it was time to push. I was feeling much more rested and excited at this point to meet baby soon! The epi was a perfect amount - I could still feel and move my legs and bottom, and could also feel the contractions as they came, just more as pressure not pain.

 

I had Tyge set Pandora to a Black Eyed Peas station and had some upbeat music to begin pushing with. Midwife Mary helped me figure out how and we got into a good rhythm. I could feel most contractions so knew when to push, and she would help guide me with how long or hard to push each time. An hour into pushing, they got the baby warmer ready and started her paperwork for a birth date of 8/29, thinking she'd come before midnight. Baby's heart rate dropped a bit low at one point, but it wasn't too concerning. We continued pushing and I really didn't have any concept of how long it had been. My support team of midwife Mary, doula Mary, nurse Cindy, and especially Tyge were all so encouraging and helpful. They would cheer me on with each push and gave me progress updates. Close to two hours in I started to get really tired and wondered if she'd ever come out! I had asked Tyge to change the music to Hillsong as I wanted a more peaceful setting than the pumped one I had been feeling hours ago. I had my eye on the clock in the room and as we neared midnight, realized she wouldn't be born on 8/29!

 

I knew we were getting close and when she was crowning, Mary looked at Tyge and asked, "Do you want to catch baby?" Tyge looked shocked and responded with, "I need to wash my hands first!" She said he'd better do it quick as baby was coming on the next push. He made it back in time and sure enough, on the next push the head came out. I looked up and exclaimed, "It's huge!" and everyone laughed! The rest happened so fast but the moment is forever etched in my brain. Baby came out next and Daddy caught her and said, "Girl, girl, it's a girl!" She let out a huge healthy cry and I remember saying her name, Aven Hope, and getting a little teary. Our awesome doula got the entire thing on video, which is obviously just for us, but here are some clips of Tyge's reaction:

 

"GIRL!"

 

Proud, happy Daddy

 

They placed her on my chest right away and since she was still connected her back was to me, but I could tell she was beautiful.

 

 

 

 

 

 

After Tyge cut the cord, we got some good skin to skin time right away and she nursed well from the start. We were able to bond for as long as I wanted before they took her away to be cleaned and checked out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Our new family of three!

 

So it was a 21 hour labor (16 of it without meds) and 2 1/2 hours of pushing, but I'd do it all again tomorrow. It truly was an incredible birth experience and I would not have changed a thing about it. I am glad I was able to experience so much of it naturally, and I'm also glad I made the decision to get the epidural when I did so I could somewhat enjoy the rest of labor and be more rested and "myself" when she finally arrived. The end goal of healthy mom, healthy baby was achieved - praise God!

Aven's Birth Story: Part 1

It's taken me awhile to write this, mainly because if I've had any chunk of free time I've wanted to sleep! Little Miss is over three weeks old now and I want to get her birth story in writing before I forget much of it, so here goes (warning - this is long!)....


It all started late Tuesday night, August 28th - we were helping some friends move that evening and had pizza, so when I had a stomach ache when we got home around 10 PM I figured it was that. Plus, my office was going to the State Fair the following day and I was a bit nervous about heading there almost a week overdue, so figured the stomach ache could be nerves as well. We headed to bed, though I didn't actually go to sleep. Around 3 AM I started to feel more cramping, and since I didn't have much in terms of Braxton Hicks contractions, I figured this could be labor! I laid awake in bed through them and started timing with my app around 4:30 AM - they were coming every 10 minutes lasting a minute on average and were painful, but manageable. Since I wasn't sleeping anyway, I got up around 5:30 AM and took a shower then woke Tyge up around 6:30 AM and told him he should call his boss and tell him he wasn't coming in that day. He didn't believe me at first but then quickly realized this was it! We laid in bed a bit and continued to time the contractions, which were anywhere from 6-13 minutes apart and getting a bit more intense. Around 9 AM I started picking up the house a bit and finished packing the hospital bag, then watched TV in the living room while laboring (A Baby Story and The Price Is Right!). I was able to eat some Greek yogurt and a PB&J and keep that down, and drank lots of water. I also called my boss and told her I wouldn't be joining them at the State Fair and would be having a baby that day! The pain was still tolerable but the peaks of the contractions were pretty bad - we just continued to time them as they weren't yet close enough to head to the hospital. I labored at home on the ball, over the ottoman, on the bed all morning and nothing was comfortable, so Tyge suggested taking Keely for a walk around noon. We walked very slow and stopped with each contraction, where I had to hang on to Tyge for support when they got bad. It was neat to take a last walk as the three of us, and it was a beautiful day out. When we got home Tyge offered to get us lunch and I wanted mac and cheese from Noodles, so that's what he got! While he was gone the intensity of the contractions picked up a bit, and there were now 6-7 minutes apart on average - still not time. He got home with the food which I ate, and then promptly threw up moments later, as the pain was getting much worse. I was also needing to go to the bathroom after every contraction and wasn't sure if my water had broken or not. It was around 1 PM or so when I called my midwife clinic and told them what was going on. They suggested I come in and get checked to see where I was at and if we should head to the hospital. We packed up the house and Tyge loaded the car just in case, put Keely in her kennel, and off we went!

Just before leaving the house, trying to look as happy as possible!

 

I had several contractions on the 12 minute drive to the clinic, which was very uncomfortable. When we got there the awesome nurse Joanie put us in a room and said Mary was the midwife on duty so she had gone home to rest and prepare for delivery that evening, and Ann was in the clinic with a patient and would be in to check on me soon. She set me up laying down on a table and wanted me to hang out there so they could see if my water had broken. Laying flat on my back while having contractions was not fun...poor Tyge just sat there waiting with me. Ann's patient was taking longer than expected so Joanie kept coming to check on me - she could tell that my pain was getting worse so hurried Ann up a bit! She came in and was able to sample the fluid and determine that my water hadn't broken but was perhaps slowly leaking. During the time it took to run the tests, my contractions got worse and I was having to lean over the stool to manage them. She waited until one was over then checked me for dilation - she was happy to report I was between a 4-5 and in active labor! She said we could head home and wrap things up (aka say goodbye to Keely) then head to the hospital within the hour. However, I threw up again when she was in the room and had a few really bad contractions, so she changed her tune and suggested we head directly to St. John's. The whole clinic wished me luck as we headed out of there, barf bags in tow, to have our baby!

 

Tyge drove as carefully yet quickly as possible to get me there. On the way we called our parents to let them know we were headed to the hospital, and called our neighbor to let Keely out after work before Tyge's parents made it to our house from up North. My clinic had called the hospital and we were pre-registered so once we arrived they got us in a room right away. I honestly don't even remember checking in or getting to our room but it was around 2 PM. I changed into a gown (I was planning to wear my own clothes but had lost all sense of style and modesty already and just wanted to be comfortable) and called our doula Mary to have her join us. The nurse did some initial fetal monitoring and from there, we worked on laboring and managing the contractions as best as possible. Mary the doula and Mary the midwife both arrived around the same time and began to help me labor through things. The contractions were coming almost every 2-3 minutes lasting 30-45 seconds and this lasted for hours. I threw up several times due to the pain. I was most comfortable on the bed on my hands and knees or sitting on the ball bent over the bed, though nothing really helped. I was having some back labor so Tyge held the warming pack on my back to help with that. Around 5-6 PM I got in the tub. I had wanted to "save" that for the last piece of relief, but after 3-4 hours in the hospital of excruciating labor pain, I couldn't wait any longer. Being in the tub helped and Tyge would pour warm water over my belly with each contraction, which felt good. At this point, I was doing a low humming sound to get through each contraction and would start and stop my sounds with the pain. Tyge knew when they were coming and would squeeze my hand. He was so great at reminding me to breath, to relax my other muscles, and was a rock for me. I never got vocal or hysterical, I was just quietly in pain and trying to manage as best I could. Several times I did say that I couldn't do it, I was tired (I hadn't slept at all!), and I wanted the epidural and he did as I asked and reminded me that my body was made to do this, I could do it, baby was coming soon, etc. So I call this phase of the story Part 1 because it is night and day different from Part 2. I honestly blocked out most of Part 1 and don't remember many details, other than it was the worst pain I've ever experienced and I was not myself during it.

 

So around 7 PM I got out of the tub and figured I had to be dilated to at least an 8 - I had been laboring at the hospital for 5+ hours and came in dilated to a 5. The contractions had been so close together for those 5 hours that I just knew I had to be close, maybe even past transition as they were so intense while in the tub. Mary checked me and told me I was at a 5+. I was so defeated that I had made NO progress during those 5 hours. Everyone assured me that it was progress, that the baby was moving down, etc. but I was so defeated and felt those 5 hours of indescribable pain were for nothing. I asked Mary, in her experience, how many more hours I had to go. She didn't want to answer my questions as it wasn't cut and dry, but she let me know that on average I could expect to dilate a centimeter an hour. I did the math - that meant 5 more hours of pain that would only intensify, plus who knows how many hours of pushing. At that time I hadn't slept since the day before and was on hour 16 of drug free labor. I was so tired. I was in so much pain. I truly didn't think I could finish without getting some rest, so I asked for the epidural and meant it.

 

QT Week Recap

This past week has been amazing - I am sitting here reflecting on what a great week it's been and just smiling. Yes, I'm sad that I had to watch my hunny drive away this afternoon to be 7 hours away when I could go into labor at any time, but not as bad as I thought I'd be.

Basically since he got home a week ago we set aside every night for just us two to hang out, and that's exactly what we've done! We boated last Saturday all day, got ready for the week last Sunday, and spent each weeknight together this past week. We cooked healthy dinners together, ate outside, took walks, had purposeful talks, watched movies in bed and cuddled each other and Keely girl, and just enjoyed each other's company without a to-do list, outside commitments or distractions. It was glorious - we've never done anything like it since being together!

Then this weekend we had a fantastic date on Friday at Acqua on White Bear Lake - yummy food and a beautiful atmosphere. We were going to boat again yesterday but the weather was off and on, so we sat in our backyard and read together all day. Tyge had to study Medical Terminology and I had a few baby books  I wanted to read, so we filled Keely's pool for her to splash around in while I got comfy on my sun lounger and Tyge set up shop on the swing. We spent almost 5 hours out there enjoying the peaceful space with crickets and birds chirping - I got some sun, dozed off a few times, and we both relaxed in the quiet.

She looooves her pool!

Passed out on the swing next to Dad

Saturday night we went to see The Campaign, which I thought was funny and literally laughed so hard I almost peed my pants at one part - which isn't hard these days. :) After studying all day poor Tyge needed a laughter break! Then we ate outside at Granite City and split some yummy food, once again enjoying each other's company and reveling in the reality that it was probably our last date night out for awhile!

Today we slept in, made brunch and ate together, Tyge mowed, we visited a friend's adorable new baby, packed Tyge up, then he left. Keely and I were outside on the driveway as he pulled away and I took her for a walk as I started to tear up, only a little bit. As I took her for a walk I prayed the entire time and just thanked God for the amazing week Tyge and I had together and for all the exciting things we have in store for us soon. I prayed for his safety on the road, safety for us both and for Petrie while we're apart this week, for Tyge to stay as stress free as possible while taking his final exams this week, and for Petrie to come when he gets home.

Honestly though I feel so at peace with whatever will happen - I know it's both Tyge and my desire for him to be here at the start of labor, but we both trust that he'll get here eventually and I have a great plan in place with my mom and our doula, so feel comfortable with that. My meditation verse this week is Philippians 4:6 - "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Amen!

My mom comes over tomorrow and I'm looking forward to spending the week with here - it'll be nice to have her here during the day with Keely girl, have her home cooking after work each night, and to just spend some QT with my momma before I become a momma myself.

So this week just FLEW by, and I'm looking forward for this next week to pass just as quickly because I know that with each day that passes Tyge and I are closer to seeing each other again, and becoming PARENTS! :)

Mourning just "US"

So I obviously have a million emotions coursing through my body right now, and the latest one isn't one I was expecting - almost a mourning or sense of loss. Don't get me wrong, I am SO excited to become a parent and meet Petrie in a few short days/weeks, but this week it just hit me that it will no longer be just me and Tyge - no longer just US.

Some say that before you get married you mourn your single life - I guess that's what bachelor and bachelorette parties are for, right?

Winter 2009

Well I never had that feeling before I married Tyge - I could not WAIT to leave my old single life behind and spend the rest of my life with him. And it's been the best 3.5 years of my life to date!

With him gone this week I've had a lot of time to reflect back at all the wonderful memories we've made since meeting in 2007, and I'm not just being cliche when I say that I fall more in love with him every day. Dating him was so fresh, exciting, and new - he was unlike any other guy I'd ever dated and I knew even back then that there was something special about this one and God had big plans for us.

One of our first photos together, 4th of July 2007

As much as I enjoyed the dating stage, I was thrilled when engagement came in 2008 and was so excited to begin that next chapter of having Tyge as my fiance.

Those 9 months flew by and before I knew it, our wedding day and honeymoon came and went, and we settled into life as newlyweds living together for the first time.

Life was great - we were so in love, so happy to be living together in our rental home, and so giddy about what the future held for us. We had really nothing tying us down, not too many responsibilities, date night whenever we wanted, like I said - life was great!

We took the next step in October of that same year and bought our first house, which brought it's first set of challenges our way - home ownership. :) The house hunting process was stressful at times but Tyge and I leaned on each other and in the end bought our dream home. I remember looking at houses and picturing certain rooms as the kids room, imagining our future family sitting down at dinner together, the possibilities were endless.

A few months into living there and we decided we were ready for a little more responsibility and wanted to try pet parenthood before real parenthood - enter Keely girl!

Our first "family" photo

It may sound silly, but the experience of raising a puppy with Tyge was an awesome one and we learned a lot about each other and how we would raise future children - luckily, we were on the same page for most things! Keely has brought so much joy to our lives and I love watching him with her - he is such a great pet Dad that I know he will be a fantastic "real" Dad as well.

Though our married life together has been amazingly blessed, it hasn't been without it's challenges, the biggest of which came last fall with the miscarriage. Aside from the deaths of two of my grandparents that Tyge has been with me for, it was our greatest loss we've experienced together. He was my rock - I have no idea how I would have made it through that time without him. It truly brought us closer together and made me realize that I was really ready to be a "real" parent with him as my partner.

So I know having a baby will only enrich our lives and make me even more in love with him, and 2 days into that "new" life I won't even be able to imagine life without Petrie, but right now I had to admit I'm feeling a little sad that it won't be just us two anymore. I'm hoping that's somewhat normal? Like I said, it just hit me this week that we really only have a week left (while he's here) of just "us" time before our lives are turned upside down, in a GOOD way, but forever changed nonetheless. With each stage of life we've entered into together it's gotten better and better, and I 100% know with all my heart this next stage of parenthood will be the best one yet. However, I still can't help but feel a little scared and sad that (for the next 20+ years anyway!) it will no longer be just "Tyge & Kate".

I guess all this is to say that for the rest of the days before Petrie gets here I vow to take the time to enjoy my husband, to go on dates with him, spend quality time with him, tell him how much I love him, not worry about to-do lists, not spend time doing menial tasks that can wait, but to just soak up all the time left we have as just US,

before Petrie gets here and our lives are changed for the better when we become a family of three (or four with Keely). :)