Aven's First Christmas!

 

We had two weekends in a row of Christmas celebrations, which were made that much more special with Miss Aven being around! I think we enjoyed her first Christmas more than she did, but she was such a happy girl, even though she didn't fully realize what was going on.

 

We celebrated with Tyge's family the weekend before with a large family gathering. Aven got dressed in her Christmas finery and was the hit of the party! :)

 

 

With her cousin Saylor and Santa

She looks a bit scared, but she's not crying!

The new mommas opening some gifts for the babies

Aven and Great Grandpa Carl - I love the look on his face

 

With Maga and Baga B - she really loves them, despite the look on her face. All the other pics I snapped were blurry....

 

Grandma G made Aven her own Christmas tree, but looks like she'd rather eat her dress?

 

Since we were up North last year, we celebrated with my folks this year and had them over to our house since it's easier for them to come to us, with a baby and all! I sang at church on Christmas Eve so was at practice most of the day, but they all met me at church for the service then we headed back to our house for a beef stew dinner and presents.

 



Grandma and Grandpa G

Are all these for ME?!

They taste pretty good anyway...

Oh boy I am so spoiled.

Sweet Keely girl isn't the center of the attention anymore...

 

Then we woke up on Christmas Day and hung out in our PJ's while watching A Christmas Story before getting ready for our big Christmas celebration. We had arranged to cook and serve a Christmas meal for 50 homeless people at a shelter in Minneapolis, and I can't wait to make it a yearly tradition. What better way to celebrate Christ's birth by showing his love and serving others, right? My mom made 50 pounds of ham and planned all the side dishes to go along with, so we arrived armed with food. I was on baby duty while my parents and Tyge prepared the food, then we all served together. It was such a blessing to be able to speak with these folks - they were so thankful for the little they had and so kind to us. I'll admit I was nervous to bring Aven at first, but she brought so much joy to everyone there, wearing her little Christmas headband and smiling away. She was awake the whole time we were there (like 5 hours - a LONG time for her) but didn't get fussy at all! I can't wait to serve again next year, and every year after, to help teach Aven the true meaning of Christmas. 

 

And our 2012 Christmas card - my favorite one yet!

Photos by Callie V Photography

That He gave His only Son...

I heard a story on KTIS driving into work the other day that made me cry and touched me so much. Being a parent now, things about children affect me more and this one was no different. For Christmas this year, we are planning to serve dinner to 50 people in a homeless shelter downtown, and I'd be lying if I didn't admit I was a bit nervous to bring Aven. After hearing this story it just put things into perspective for me that Aven isn't solely MY child. She is a child of God,  entrusted to my care while she's on earth. Thinking about it that way is so different than the worldly way of looking at our children as our possessions or our prizes. I don't want this to come across as that I don't view Aven as my daughter - because I do - but I recognize that every good and perfect gift comes from above, including her.

My point is that this story really hit home for me and helped me to feel more at ease with bringing Aven to a different and perhaps uncomfortable environment on Christmas. What better way to show the love of Christ than through the smiling eyes of a little baby.

Read the story below...

We were the only family with children in the restaurant. I sat Erik in a high chair and noticed everyone was quietly sitting and talking. Suddenly Erik squealed with glee and said, ‘Hi.’ He pounded his fat baby hands on the high chair tray. His eyes were crinkled in laughter as he wriggled and giggled with merriment. I looked around and saw the source of his merriment. It was a man whose pants were baggy and his toes poked out of would-be shoes. His shirt was dirty and his hair was uncombed and unwashed. His whiskers were too short to be called a beard and his nose was so varicose it looked like a road map. We were too far from him to smell, but I was sure he smelled.. His hands waved and flapped on loose wrists as he said ‘Hi there, baby, hi there, big boy. I see ya, buster,” the man said to Erik. My husband and I exchanged looks, ‘What do we do?’ Erik continued to laugh and answer, ‘Hi. ‘Everyone in the restaurant noticed and looked at us and then at the man. The old geezer was creating a nuisance with my beautiful baby. Our meal came and the man began shouting from across the room, ‘Do ya patty cake? Do you know peek-a-boo? Hey, look, he knows peek- a-boo!’ Nobody thought the old man was cute. He was obviously intoxicated I thought. My husband and I were embarrassed. We ate in silence, all except for Erik who was running through his repertoire for the admiring transient, who in turn, reciprocated with his comments. We finally got through the meal and headed for the door. My husband went to pay the check and told me to meet him in the parking lot. The old man sat poised between me and the door. ‘Lord, just let me out of here before he speaks to me or Erik,’ I prayed. As I drew closer to the man I turned my back trying to sidestep him and avoid any air he might be breathing. As I did Erik leaned over my arm, reaching with both arms in a baby’s ‘pick-me-up’ position. Before I could stop him, Erik had propelled himself from my arms to the man.

 Suddenly a very old smelly man and a very young baby shared their love and kinship. Erik in an act of total trust, love, and submission laid his tiny head upon the man’s ragged shoulder. The man’s eyes closed and I saw tears hover beneath his lashes. His aged hands full of grime, pain, and hard labor, cradled my baby and stroked his back. No two beings have ever loved so deeply for so short a time.

 I stood awestruck. The old man rocked and cradled Erik in his arms and his eyes opened and set squarely on mine. He said in a firm commanding voice, ‘You take care of this baby.’ Somehow I managed, ‘I will,’ from a throat that contained a stone.
He pried Erik from his chest, lovingly and longingly as though he were in pain. I received my baby, and the man said, ‘God bless you, ma’am, you’ve given me my Christmas gift.’ I said nothing more than a muttered thanks. With Erik in my arms, I ran for the car. My husband was wondering why I was crying and holding Erik so tightly, and why I was saying, ‘My God, my God, forgive me.’ I had just witnessed Christ’s love shown through the innocence of a tiny child who saw no sin, who made no judgment, a child who saw a soul, and a mother who saw a suit of clothes. I was a Christian who was blind, holding a child who was not. I felt it was God asking, ‘Are you willing to share your son for a moment?’ when He shared His for all eternity. How did God feel when he put his baby in our arms 2000 years ago? The ragged old man, unwittingly, had reminded me, ‘To enter the Kingdom of God, we must become as little children. Sometimes it takes a child to remind us of what is really important.

A few firsts!

We had a few firsts this weekend in our family!

Saturday was Aven's first Ugly Christmas Sweater party at the Vershums! Tyge and I got decked out in our ugliest, but she looked adorable in her Santa suit. We had a little photo shoot before the party:

 

 

 

Our festive family!

And today was Aven's first big snowfall! We toyed around with the idea of laying her in a sled and dragging her (or hooking it up to Keely!) around the yard, but thought better of it - next year. :) We did, however, dress her up in her adorable North Face snowsuit and fuzzy winter hat, and snap some pictures:

I'm so excited to get outside!

 

It sure is bright out here...

 

And cold, brrr!

 

How long are we gonna be out here?

 

Hello, blue eyes!

 

Okay, time to go in!

Aven Hope - 3 months

Wow...I'll probably say this every month but I can't believe my little girl is already 3 months old! One quarter of a year! And I know the next three quarters will fly by in the blink of an eye. Here's what we've been up to the past month:
 

 

Feeding - Little Hippo is a good eater! We are still on a three hour schedule, and sometimes go 3 1/2 hours between feedings. She nurses really well and now does 10-15 minutes per side. There are times when she only wants 5 minutes or less and it worried me at first, but then she just eats more the next feeding. She is definitely more distracted and aware during feedings - no more needing to keep her awake! Leading up to going back to work, I started feeding her more bottles and she goes back and forth with no problem, which I am so thankful for. On a workday, she'll get 3 nursing sessions and three 4-5 oz. bottles. I'm pumping at work which so far is working out just fine!

 

I love her lil' baby gut!

 

 
Awake time - We are still following the Babywise method of "eat/play/sleep" and she does so well with it. Her max waketime is still only about an hour, sometimes a bit more, but she starts to get fussy around the 60 minute mark after being awake. Though her awake time is so much more fun this month! She is growing so fast and seems to have a new "trick" every day. I'm not sure if she's teething, but she has her hands in her mouth all.the.time. and is drooling a lot. She loves to suck on toys, especially Sophie the Giraffe! We now keep bibs on her most of the time due to the drooling. :) She is getting much better at tummy time and doesn't mind it as much - her head is so strong! She can now sit in the Bumbo chair and hold her head up without support. Her favorite thing to do these days is "stand" - she loves to bear weight on her chunky little legs and can stand with some support from us for a surprisingly long period of time. We tried her out in the doorway jumper thing but she's still too little and just slumps in the seat. Tyge is so excited for the day she can play in that - maybe next month!

Hands always near/in my mouth!

 

 

Hanging out with Sophie in the Bumbo

 

 

Tummy time with Dad

 

 

Standing! Look at those cute chunky thighs...

 

 
Sleeping - Getting much better! Right after our trip to SD, when she was a little over 8 weeks, we started sleep training. Basically, we started a more consistent bedtime and routine (diaper change, nurse, swaddle, lights out, sing Cuppycake song and rock) and had her learn how to self soothe. She only cried for 2 nights (I know, we are SO lucky!) and now we can lay her down in her crib drowsy but awake and she puts herself to sleep. Right at 10 weeks, she made it from 9 PM to 6 AM without waking, which was amazing! The next night she did 9:30 PM to 7 AM! And from every night on she went from 9:30 or 10 PM to 7 or 7:30 AM with NO PEEPS - it was incredible. And we'd usually wake her in the morning! She needs to get up at 7 AM on workdays for me so I can nurse and have time with her in the mornings, so we usually try to have her in bed by 9:30ish. I was worried that the change with me going back to work would mess up this amazing sleeping through the night, and I was right. Every night this past week she got up once at 3 or 4 AM to feed, but would go right back down after 10 minutes of eating. I know it was really early for her to be STTN anyway, but I'll take it whenever she does.

She is still a champion napper (3 naps + 2 catnaps a day and sleeping 1.5-2 hours in between feedings) but that also changed when I went to work, and she didn't nap well for Stephanie (our nanny). I know she's been getting up in the middle of the night because she's not sleeping as well during the day, but it'll just take time for her to get used to Stephanie and not me, and we'll be back on track! She does still nap in her swing and I want to transition her to her crib eventually but with me going back to work, I figured one change at a time was enough for now. :)

Daddy and his daughter...melts me heart! Her hair looks so red here :)

Temperament - Oh my goodness is she a happy little girl! During her awake time she we get so many good smiles out of her! She loves to talk and coo, and we caught her first giggle a week ago. I was tickling her teeny neck and she let out this adorable giggle! We haven't heard it since, but it was precious. She really only cries when she's overtired (so we try to get her down before that point) or has gas. Her reflux seems to be gone, though she still spits up a normal amount after some feedings. And she only goes #2 every other day or so now so when it's been awhile she can get a bit fussy until she goes. Usually when she's fussing, it's for a reason, and we know how to make it better. It's so nice to have the witching hour and fussiness somewhat behind us, and we are loving our sweet, snuggly, smiley little girl!

Just look at that grin!

 
Outings/Other -  We've been in town this month and have really been able to hang out at home without many commitments, which has been so nice. Aven celebrated her first two holidays (Halloween and Thanksgiving) and I can't wait for her first Christmas! Tyge's folks were here for Thanksgiving and it was nice to spend some quality time with them and Brian and Naomi, as they don't get to see her too often. We also went to a baby shower for cousin Alison and her baby Saylor, and met a few friends/family for lunch this month. Knowing that I was returning to work soon though, I really just stayed at home with her!


She had her first cold around 11 weeks, which was so sad to see! She had such a stuffy nose and could barely breathe. We sat in the bathroom with a hot shower running for steam, put a dehumidifier in her room, and used saline spray in her nose with the snot sucker bulb. I also fed bottles for a few days as she had trouble nursing and breathing, poor little thing! I didn't mind the extra cuddles at all, though. :)

Decorating the tree!

 

 

Posing for Christmas card photos

 

 

As for me: The biggest change for me this month was going back to work, which I just posted about. We also decided this month to scratch the daycare option we had selected before she was born and look for a nanny, so I spent the last month of my maternity leave interviewing. I am so happy to say we found someone (Stephanie) who is just amazing! She is seriously a gift from God and I am so thankful for her. It makes my days at work so much better knowing that Aven is in her own home, with someone loving to care for her. She also texts me pictures to get me through the workday and keeps a log of her schedule, which will help as she grows and changes and I'm not with her 24/7 to notice. I haven't been working out at all and now that I'm back at work, have no idea when I'll do that! The baby weight number is gone, but I'm shaped very differently and still have 20 pounds to lose, as I was a bit over my target weight when I got pregnant. Surprisingly though, I'm not as hard on myself and it doesn't bother me as much as I thought it would. I guess I realize what am amazing thing my body went through and am have a little more grace for myself than I did before. Nursing hasn't "melted the weight off" for me at all and I think I'm actually holding on to some because of it, but providing for her is more important to me than crash dieting and working out so hard that my supply drops. That being said, I COULD and SHOULD be watching what I'm eating a bit more. :) I'm not sleeping well at all lately...despite being really tired, I just can't seem to fall asleep when my head hits the pillow. I also sleep really lightly when I do fall asleep - I guess I'm waiting to hear her cry! If I do wake to nurse or hear her cry in the middle of the night, it takes me FOREVER to fall back asleep. Like over an hour. And now that I can't nap during her naps (being back at work) it makes for a long day, so hopefully I can learn to fall asleep better! I also haven't had much quality time for Tyge lately and know I'm paying way more attention to Aven than him, so will work on putting our marriage first this next month.

 

 

 

Schedule - Like I said, we do the eat/play/sleep thing and have been settled into the routine below since around 10 weeks:

• 7:00 AM - Wake up and nurse followed by playtime
• 8:00 or 8:15 AM - Nap
• 10:30 AM - Nurse/Feed and playtime
• 11:30  or 11:45 AM - Nap
• 1:30 PM - Nurse/Feed and playtime
• 2:30 or 2:45 PM - Nap
• 4:30 or 5 PM - Nurse/Feed and playtime
• 5:30 or 6 PM - Catnap in swing while we eat dinner, if she wakes she lays there quietly and stares at the tree :)  
• 7:30 PM - Nurse and less stimulating playtime
• 8:30 PM - Doze in our arms or bunny swing
• 9:30 PM - Nurse followed by bedtime routine - usually in crib by 10 or so 
• And she usually makes it until morning without a peep! Some nights she cries out around 4 AM but if it's not her hunger cry (that's an obvious one!) I leave her be and she settles herself back down after 10 minutes. If she is hungry, we nurse on one side for 10 minutes and she goes right back down.

Life with our sweet Aven Hope gets better each day, and I am so blessed to be her Mommy!

I survived!

Well, my first day back at work is behind me and I survived - not without a few tears, but I made it!

Tuesday was really bad for me - I think the anticipation of going back to work was worse than actually doing it. I was just holding onto Aven all day and would tear up every so often at the thought of leaving her. We snuggled on the couch most of the day and I took lots of pics and videos to get me through the workdays. Tyge brought me beautiful pink roses on Tuesday night which made me smile and was so thoughtful.

So I put Aven to bed and went to bed myself, but had a really hard time falling asleep. I didn't sleep too well and popped right out of bed when my alarm went off at 6 AM - I was already up. I was able to shower and get myself ready, then woke her at 7 to nurse and hang out for an hour until Stephanie (our nanny) got there. When she asked how I was doing I teared up again...luckily Aven was sleeping when I left which made it easier. I did cry most of the way to work, despite listening to cheery Christmas music. I walked into work and was greeted with smiles, cheers, hugs, flowers, and brownies! It was such a warm welcome and it did feel good to be back. Like I've said, I really love my job and the people I work with so that made it easier to come back. It was so fun to show off pictures of my little girl and catch up with everyone, and I spent most of the morning cleaning out my desk area and chatting. I did get in two pumping sessions and figured out the ins and outs of doing that at work, which made me feel better. I thought about Aven all day and was so happy to get a sweet text from Stephanie with THIS face smiling back at me:

And she had dressed her in her "I Love Mommy" onesie - how cute!

I left work at 4 so was home in time for the 4:30 feed and walked in to a smiley, happy baby girl!

 

My amazing husband came home and cooked a special dinner of crab legs for us, then cleaned up while I snuggled the baby.

 

So the first day is behind me and I hope it only gets easier from here as I figure out the new routine of being a working mom. Thanks for all the prayers and kind texts and phone calls everyone - the support really helped get me through this week!

Returning to work...

As I sit here on a lazy Sunday evening with my family, I feel so peaceful and don't feel any of the "Sunday night blues" because I don't have to return to work tomorrow! However, it's the last Sunday I'll have like this, as this week is my last full week at home with Aven (and it's a busy holiday one at that!) and I return to work Wednesday 11/28.

Before I had her, I said that I needed to return to work, wanted to work, and genuinely felt I would be a better mother if I was working - you know, having my "own" daily life and identity outside of being a mom. Well I don't know who I was kidding. I've loved every single minute of being Aven's mommy full time and would rather do that 24/7 than any other job on earth (even a professional singer, my "dream" job!). Don't get me wrong - I really do enjoy my job and love the people I work with so feel blessed to return to that environment, but will so miss being with my little girl every minute of every day.

These past (almost) 12 weeks have flown by so fast - everyone told me they would, and they weren't kidding! I can honestly say it's been the toughest and best 12 weeks of my life, and things truly keep getting better each day. That's why it's so tough to leave her NOW because she's not the helpless dependant little newborn, but getting to be such a sweet, fun little baby whose personality is just now really developing. I feel like I know her so well, know what each cry and coo means, know her routine and schedule, and know exactly what to do to make her happy. I fear that, in returning to work and not being with her all day, I'll lose that. I won't know her as well anymore. And that makes me sad beyond belief. I know I'll still have weeknights and weekends, but also know how much I'll miss out on each day. She is growing and changing and learning so much every day and I'm sad that instead of being a part of her daily world, I'll be working.

In addition to feeling sad, I'm filled with fears - some irrational, some not. I'm afraid she'll love the nanny we hired more than me. I'm afraid I won't be able to pump enough to give her milk for each day. I'm afraid she won't want to nurse when I am home. I'm afraid I won't get anything done besides loving on her, because that's all I'll want to do in the moments I'm not at work. I'm afraid she'll love the nanny more than me.

Financially, I do have to go back to work so there's not much choice there. Tyge and I talked and I COULD stay home, but it would be a big cut for us and we're just not able to do that right now. I know 100% that God would provide and we'd be okay if I did stay home, but it was always the "plan" for me to go back, so I'm going to. My dad made an excellent point that if I didn't go back now but in 2 months decided I wanted to, my job would be gone. However, if I go back and 2 months from now decide that I just can't do it, I can always leave. I think that once I go back I'll be fine and will probably adjust and do well in my new working mother role, I've just gotten so used to my stay at home mommy role and am afraid of the change.

So for the next 9 days I plan on locking myself in our house and staring at this face all day:

(Don't judge my penguin comfy pants...)

 

And this face:

(Don't judge my striped comfy pants)

 

 
And doing lots of this:

 

 

 

 
And this:

And with that, I'm off to go snuggle my sweet baby girl!

Morning conversation

 

Ignore my annoying baby talk voice...but it was the best conversation I've had all weekend! :) Love my sweet, smiley, chatty little girl.