Aven's Dedication

Last weekend was a special event - we had our sweet baby girl dedicated!

Now I grew up Catholic and was baptized as a baby, but was also baptized again as an adult after (re)committing my life to Jesus. I want Aven to grow up and make her own decision to follow the Lord and show her commitment through baptism when she decides she is ready. That being said, we still wanted to participate in an infant dedication, which our church describes as "the act of giving back to God the gift he has given you as parents. It is an act of worship, thanksgiving, dependence, trust, and commitment." We also wanted to publicly covenant to raise Aven children by modeling Godly principles with the desire that one day, she will receive Jesus Christ as her personal Savior.

We invited the Grandparents, Brian, Naomi, JJ, & Lark, and my best friend Besty, her husband Eric, and son Levi. We kept it to a small group of family (and my best friend) who will be Aven's spiritual mentors throughout her life and support her in her faith as she grows. Since our church is a mega-church, they had a separate service on Saturday night for the babies and their families - 6 total were dedicated. It was a short service, beginning with a slideshow of the babies, then the parents and babies came to the stage where the children's pastor read their names and meanings as well as the life verse the parents had picked out. She prayed for each child, then the guests prayed over the children as well, and that was it! Short and sweet. :) We then had everyone over for dinner and cake to celebrate with us. We are so blessed to have family and friends to help guide us as we parent our little girl and she is so blessed to have such amazing people in her life who care for and love her.

The verse we picked for Aven was Psalm 25:5 - Guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. (Yes, I picked a verse with HOPE in it, as that's her middle name!)

 

 

Watching herself in the slideshow

 

Proud parents

 

The children's pastor praying over her

 

With Mom and Dad

 

The whole crew!

 

 

A little cake celebration after - too bad she couldn't have any!

That He gave His only Son...

I heard a story on KTIS driving into work the other day that made me cry and touched me so much. Being a parent now, things about children affect me more and this one was no different. For Christmas this year, we are planning to serve dinner to 50 people in a homeless shelter downtown, and I'd be lying if I didn't admit I was a bit nervous to bring Aven. After hearing this story it just put things into perspective for me that Aven isn't solely MY child. She is a child of God,  entrusted to my care while she's on earth. Thinking about it that way is so different than the worldly way of looking at our children as our possessions or our prizes. I don't want this to come across as that I don't view Aven as my daughter - because I do - but I recognize that every good and perfect gift comes from above, including her.

My point is that this story really hit home for me and helped me to feel more at ease with bringing Aven to a different and perhaps uncomfortable environment on Christmas. What better way to show the love of Christ than through the smiling eyes of a little baby.

Read the story below...

We were the only family with children in the restaurant. I sat Erik in a high chair and noticed everyone was quietly sitting and talking. Suddenly Erik squealed with glee and said, ‘Hi.’ He pounded his fat baby hands on the high chair tray. His eyes were crinkled in laughter as he wriggled and giggled with merriment. I looked around and saw the source of his merriment. It was a man whose pants were baggy and his toes poked out of would-be shoes. His shirt was dirty and his hair was uncombed and unwashed. His whiskers were too short to be called a beard and his nose was so varicose it looked like a road map. We were too far from him to smell, but I was sure he smelled.. His hands waved and flapped on loose wrists as he said ‘Hi there, baby, hi there, big boy. I see ya, buster,” the man said to Erik. My husband and I exchanged looks, ‘What do we do?’ Erik continued to laugh and answer, ‘Hi. ‘Everyone in the restaurant noticed and looked at us and then at the man. The old geezer was creating a nuisance with my beautiful baby. Our meal came and the man began shouting from across the room, ‘Do ya patty cake? Do you know peek-a-boo? Hey, look, he knows peek- a-boo!’ Nobody thought the old man was cute. He was obviously intoxicated I thought. My husband and I were embarrassed. We ate in silence, all except for Erik who was running through his repertoire for the admiring transient, who in turn, reciprocated with his comments. We finally got through the meal and headed for the door. My husband went to pay the check and told me to meet him in the parking lot. The old man sat poised between me and the door. ‘Lord, just let me out of here before he speaks to me or Erik,’ I prayed. As I drew closer to the man I turned my back trying to sidestep him and avoid any air he might be breathing. As I did Erik leaned over my arm, reaching with both arms in a baby’s ‘pick-me-up’ position. Before I could stop him, Erik had propelled himself from my arms to the man.

 Suddenly a very old smelly man and a very young baby shared their love and kinship. Erik in an act of total trust, love, and submission laid his tiny head upon the man’s ragged shoulder. The man’s eyes closed and I saw tears hover beneath his lashes. His aged hands full of grime, pain, and hard labor, cradled my baby and stroked his back. No two beings have ever loved so deeply for so short a time.

 I stood awestruck. The old man rocked and cradled Erik in his arms and his eyes opened and set squarely on mine. He said in a firm commanding voice, ‘You take care of this baby.’ Somehow I managed, ‘I will,’ from a throat that contained a stone.
He pried Erik from his chest, lovingly and longingly as though he were in pain. I received my baby, and the man said, ‘God bless you, ma’am, you’ve given me my Christmas gift.’ I said nothing more than a muttered thanks. With Erik in my arms, I ran for the car. My husband was wondering why I was crying and holding Erik so tightly, and why I was saying, ‘My God, my God, forgive me.’ I had just witnessed Christ’s love shown through the innocence of a tiny child who saw no sin, who made no judgment, a child who saw a soul, and a mother who saw a suit of clothes. I was a Christian who was blind, holding a child who was not. I felt it was God asking, ‘Are you willing to share your son for a moment?’ when He shared His for all eternity. How did God feel when he put his baby in our arms 2000 years ago? The ragged old man, unwittingly, had reminded me, ‘To enter the Kingdom of God, we must become as little children. Sometimes it takes a child to remind us of what is really important.

What a difference a year makes.

Just about two weeks ago, there was something about this time of year that I recognized. Something about the fall crisp in the air, my friend Katrina's Dipfest party, the UHG Golf Tournament - it all reminded me of something. And then I remembered. Not that I ever forgot, but the blur of the past few weeks with Aven has made my mind not as sharp! This time of year and these events reminded me that one year ago was when we found out we were pregnant for the first time.

It all brought back the memory of seeing that pee stick the first time around, and telling Tyge we were pregnant. 

And then I realized that one year ago today was the day we miscarried.

I'll be spending a few hours this afternoon at the UHG Golf Tournament where last year I had to fight back tears the entire time. This year, I'll be proudly talking about and showing pictures of my daughter who turns 3 weeks old today.

It's so amazing to think that, had we not miscarried our first child, we wouldn't have Aven Hope. Sweet little Aven who we already love so much and can't imagine life without. God truly has a plan for everything that is bigger and better than we can even fathom, and I am so thankful for that. I know we'll meet that first baby in heaven some day, and until then I am so grateful that God planned for Aven to be in our arms instead of just our hearts like the one we lost a year ago.

Me and my sweet baby girl

New each morning

We all have them, and yesterday was a bad day for me. I won't go into details, but stress of certain things plus pregnancy hormones = a very bad day. I could sense myself believing Satan's lies throughout the day that I wasn't good enough, even though I KNOW my identity is in Christ and not my job or anything else! One of my awesome coworkers could tell I was having a tough time so sent me this reminder over IM: 

Hang in there. Your identity is not what anyone says about you on any given day. Your Identity is Christ's daughter, saved and redeemed by his grace. That is who you are, what matters, and what is important every day, good days or bad. Does not make the circumstances any easier, but it's truth. Try to remember that when you are being told, or made to feel you're doing a bad job.

Wow. I took a few moments after reading that and prayed as I renounced the lies I was feeling. I also texted some prayer warriors and felt peace as I was covered in prayer. Tyge was out of town so I got to talk to him on the phone about my crappy day, but I didn't vent to or lean on him as much as I would have had he been home, and I learned a valuable lesson.

I so often go to Tyge/family/friends to vent/talk/cry before (and in some cases even in place of!) going to God. For some reason having someone tangible to listen to and verbally agree with me is easier and more instantly gratifying than taking it to God and "waiting" on His wisdom, guidance, and comfort. So because Tyge wasn't there last night to listen to me whine :) I spent a lot of time in prayer, talking to God. Okay, and to Keely.

I went to bed feeling peace and calm, and woke up feeling the same way. This morning I had a 7 AM dentist appointment and was honestly a bit nervous as I've only ever had one cavity and didn't react so well to the Novocaine and drilling, but I was feeling good about it today. As soon as I got there, the dentist took a look in my mouth and said that it was such a small cavity that he didn't need to drill, and only needed to put some sealant on the side of my tooth! The whole process took a few minutes and I was done. I went to the front to pay what I thought was going to be around $150 (what insurance quoted me) and the receptionist said the Dr. did it no charge - I was good to go.

I got to my car and just thanked God - his mercy, grace, and love is amazing! After such a tough day yesterday, I cried out to Him and He showed me His love in a real, tangible way. Since I was done earlier than I thought I was able to get an iced (decaf!) coffee and spend some time in the Word. I read Lamentations 3:22-23:

Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

These words hit me as so true - only God could take the emotions of a pregnant woman and through His compassion, give her peace and make her feel loved. Today I chose joy over my circumstances and you know what? The things that happened weren't necessarily any better, but I chose to not let anything steal my joy or believe any lies, and it was a good day.

Praise God for his mercies that are new each morning!

Our lake one morning last summer

Puebla Day 5 - Earthquake, Tablecloth, & Prayers

Tuesday, March 20th

We started off the morning with a breakfast of Mexican sweet breads that we bought from a truck the night before, peach yogurt, and fresh pineapple - so juicy! Scott shared a devo and some good scripture, then we were picked up for our workday.

I helped in the printing press again for a bit, but wanted to be outside in the sunshine so moved to weeding in the Garden of Hope. We each had a chunk (of the cement path) to weed and picked at it with chisels. We had worship music playing, the sun was shining, we were chatting, all was good! All of a sudden we felt the earth move and shake, later learning that there had been a 7.4 scale earthquake nearby in Oxaca and we were feeling the aftershock. It was such a weird feeling - almost like being stuck in a bowl of Jello!

After work we had lunch, where my high happened. I was at the little girls table sitting next to 3 year old Ximena who was across from 4 year old Evalin. Because we had played capture the flag yesterday everyone had their own bandanna and before their lunch trays were set in front of them, Ximena neatly unfolded her yellow bandanna and spread it out in front of her and her friend. They then reached hands across their "tablecloth", bowed their tiny heads, and prayed thanks to Jesus for their food. My eyes welled up with tears and I was struck by this simple act of two little girls using a free piece of cloth to make their lunchtime just a little more beautiful. I instantly thought of how my mom used to make tea parties, birthdays, and even random dinners so special for me and my friends, breaking out the candlesticks and wine goblets, and how they don't have a mom to do that for them. I also had a vision of my barely used $50 Crate & Barrel tablecloth and felt spoiled, in not a good way. These little girls have so few material possessions to their name, yet were so willing to thank God and find joy in what they DID have. Huge lesson learned, and I was so grateful to have witnessed that quiet moment.

Evelin & Ximena - the two sweet girls

After lunch, we served the kids a treat of ice cream, which they all loved!

The wind picked up quite a bit over lunch so our planned afternoon activity of kite making and flying was interesting! We brought materials for each kid to make a paper kite and helped them cut and tape the basic kite, and let them decorate it. Many of the kids wrote "I Love Jesus" on their kites and were thrilled with the markers and stickers.

It was way too windy to fly them but the kids wanted to try anyway, so many a kite got ripped or tangled. The kids didn't care at all - they had a blast!

We were then invited to join the Tuesday afternoon staff meeting, which they held in the cleared out dining tent. We had a time of stripped down worship (guitar and bongos) and it was inspiring how quickly and genuinely the staff was able to enter His presence. We were asked to stand as a team and Susy McNally said they'd like to pray for us. We stood in a line in the front and smiled at all the staff, thinking we'd hear a few nice words of prayer. Rene got on the mic and mentioned the earlier earthquake, saying he believed God wanted to shake things up. He asked the guitar and bongos to shake it up as well and they began to play. I bowed my head and closed my eyes and all of a sudden felt a hand on my shoulder, one on my back, and one on my belly. The tent was filled with earnest and heartfelt prayers, both in English and Spanish. It was one of the most beautiful sounds I'd ever heard. I had Sandra in front of me praying rapidly and emotionally in Spanish with her warm hand on Petrie, while her husband David was next to us with his hands on Tyge. I could hear Bridget and Molly Nielsen behind me and feel their hands supporting me as well. Tyge reached over and held me and I reached to my left and held Emily. This went on for 10+ minutes as I wept uncontrollably - I'd never been so filled with the Holy Spirit or felt His presence more than that. When it ended, we were all is awe. Tyge and I sought Sandra and David out to thank them after and I asked Sandra what she prayed for. She said she had prayed for our marriage, for our baby, and that we would never give up in raising a family who would serve God - she said her and David saw us and felt called by God to pray for us. I told her I hadn't really felt a huge connection with Petrie until that moment, still afraid of losing him/her I guess. When she prayed, something switched in my heart and I felt a peace about everything. I am so grateful for her prayers - without even knowing me or my story, she was able to bless and minister to me. Her faith and obedience in listening to God's promptings is incredible.

We were all emotionally drained so trudged back to dinner and shared our prayer experiences with one another. It was neat to hear how we were all blessed in different and powerful ways. Before bed, Ivana shared her testimony with us all, and we went to sleep grateful for what was my best day at EV yet. 

**Some photos taken by me, some taken by other team members!

Puebla Day 4 - Revelation Song & Ivana's Birthday

Monday, March 19th

Our first workday started out earlier than the first few here - I was up by 6 AM! We had a breakfast of pancakes, then Emily shared her testimony which is a beautiful and inspiring story.

We were picked up at 9 AM and split into teams for the day's work - the boys and some gals were outside building a cement trench and weeding the Garden of Hope while Rachael,  Vanessa, Emily, Sari and I were in the printing press helping stuff and fold newsletters. I had some really good conversation with the ladies and got to know them better, which was great. We even discussed the possibility of doing a small group study (using LFL as material) when we got back home!

We took a few breaks and my high of the day came as I was walking through the dining tent to go to the bathroom. I saw Suzy sitting alone in the back, strumming her guitar along to an MP3 player plugged into a small speaker playing Revelation Song in English! I stopped and asked if I could sing with her and was so glad I took the time to stop. Watching her strum her guitar with all her heart, praising Jesus and singing in her beautiful voice was such a treat. I had a shaky voice as a tried to sing along for sure! I asked her to play that song one more time and she indulged me, and even played a few more songs for me. She is so incredibly talented and told me she wanted to become a song writer. I love how all the kids have big dreams, despite their past. Their love for Jesus and hope and future He and the staff at EV give them is awesome and greater than any past hurts.

After work we had lunch with the kids where they all sang Happy Birthday to team member Ivana - so sweet!

Following lunch was our afternoon activity with the kids which was a game of capture the flag. We brought colored bandannas to use as flags and each kid got to keep theirs. We explained the rules and there were a few hiccups while playing, but that made it even more fun! The kids loved running around, taunting  the opposite team, and leaning the new game. As our van was pulling away for the evening, we saw some of the kids on a smaller field playing on their own.

Back at the house we had dinner and recapped the day, then had Bridget, Miguel, and their 3 kids over for an evening devo. Miguel shared a bit at first, then took the kids home as Bridget stayed to talk to us. She told us to continue meeting and encouraging each other (Heb. 10:23)  - to see the value in that and not give up. After they left, it was time for bed, but not before we had a birthday cake for Ivana! The days sure are long here, but rewarding!

**Some photos taken by me, some taken by other team members!

Puebla Day 3 - Church, Baseball & Testimony

Sunday, March 18th

This morning Cathy and I had breakfast duty, so we made everyone breakfast burritos. Rachael shared a devo about warring against the flesh and Satan - letting the waters rise because we have Jesus!

We were picked up for Sunday service at Nations Church, which was another awesome experience! Worship was incredible - I didn't understand the words (well, this one was Dia Feliz or O Happy Day) but I sure felt the spirit! Everyone had their hands raised, smiles of joy, jumping around - see for yourself:

Jerry (he's an orphanage Director AND executive pastor of Nations Church!) then preached a great message on spiritual warfare, which was very timely for our team. He talked a bit about putting on the armor of God (Eph. 6:11) which is something we had talked about as a team before leaving! After the service was over, Rene's wife Kate gave us a tour of Nation's Church, including this mural depicting the 4 ministries of LHI (Nations Church, Esperanza Viva youth home, La Vina ministry school, and school for the kids).

After church we changed out of our nice clothes and had lunch with the kids. The food didn't sit well with my stomach, but luckily I had an adorable 6 year old, Pablo, sitting across from me. Pablo was a hungry, growing boy and ate my whole portion of rice, eggs, and bread! I'll never forget his sweet little face with his huge brown eyes and smile as he asked for "mas, mas!" - God put me next to him at lunch for sure.

After lunch we played broomball and softball with the teens which was a great time - I even hit a home run!

After we were good and tired, we headed back to the house for dinner, and after dinner Tyge and I had a shared devotional time where we got to share our testimony. We took an hour of tag teaming our story and it was such a treat to be able to share. I forget just how powerful a story it is and how drastic a change we had - all through Christ alone.

When we were done most of the team was crying and thanked us for sharing. They prayed for us had such gracious and encouraging things to say, despite not knowing us too well at that point. We had a bit of a God high but knew we had out first early work day so headed to bed.

**Some photos taken by me, some taken by other team members!

Puebla Day 2 - Orientation & Youth Night

Saturday, March 17th

We all got a good night's rest and started out the morning with a breakfast of eggs and toast. We were split into cooking teams of two people and the teams rotated cooking breakfast and dinner plus the after meal cleanup, which worked great! We enjoyed breakfast of eggs and toast this morning, all sitting around our table.

Following breakfast, we listened to a few worship songs then Cathy had a devotional prepared for the team - she shared an awesome praise report! It was a great way to start the day. We were then picked up for our first day at Esperanza Viva - it was only a few miles from where we were staying, but took 10+ minutes through the countryside over bumpy roads. The area has a pretty dry and dusty landscape with a beautiful view of the mountains and the volcano.

We began the day with a tour of the EV grounds from Rene (a National missionary who serves at EV with his wife, Kate). We learned the history of Living Hope International and Esperanza Viva, all started because a vision from missionaries Jerry and Susy McNally, who have been in the field for 27 years. We heard a lot from Rene about the history of EV and the story of how they acquired the land is worth telling. I can’t remember all the exact details so I will give a summarized version of the events that came together to make it all happen.

Jerry & Susy, originally from Minnesota, began their missionary service in Mexico in 1985, planting churches and evangelizing in rural villages in Oaxaca. In 1994 they moved to Puebla, Mexico, and God opened the doors for them to found Esperanza Viva Youth Home. The buildings and locations they were able to use for this were quickly outgrown and not in a safe area in downtown Puebla so Jerry had a vision of having something more rural.

They started talking to farmers on the outskirts of the city to see if anyone would consider selling their land to start an orphanage. No farmers were interested and were actually offended to be asked. Long story short Jerry felt that God wanted him to personally ask 500 people that he knew to raise the money for this land he was dreaming about. Jerry and the team were able to raise about $800k for this vision. After many conversations they were able to get a farmer with 11 acres to agree to sell them the land because his children didn’t want to farm it after he died.

So they took the raised funds to a money exchange house that they had been working with for years, but it was the exact day that the DEA and Mexican Government had moved to strike Mexican Cartel activity at that same money exchange house so all money in that day was seized by the Mexican Government. Their money was as good as gone because they everything was so corrupt - Jerry was so crushed, and began calling people to let them know their donated money could be gone.

After 9 months of fighting to get it back and getting nowhere, having politicians send letters and make phone calls, a lot of prayer, faith, and some awesome details that I probably can't publicly share, out of the over $7M that was seized only the EV money of Jerry's was released. When the money was seized, the Peso was at about 8 to the 1 dollar. When the money was finally released back to them, the Peso was at 14 to the 1 dollar. So they almost doubled their money. God is so good!

They were able to buy the 11 acres of land they wanted, and the farmer had a change of heart after meeting the kids and gave them a better deal than initially negotiated. Not only that, but they now had money to start building "Phase 1" of the project, which included a tall wall around the land, dorms for the children, office area, dining tent, and school tents.

So, knowing all the history made the tour all the more meaningful - Jerry, Susy, and the faithful staff at EV prayed and worked for years for this new land and awesome space for the kids!

The dorm facilities are beautiful, with top of the line fixtures and tile all generously donated. And everything is so clean - the kids have chores and help keep it that way! They have an office, storage room, infirmary/dentist, bathrooms, and boys and girls bunks all in one large building.

Down a path from the dorms are classrooms in tents, La Vina (ministry school) classroom, a small snack shack, basketball courts/playground, and an outdoor tented dining hall.

Next, they have a large indoor kitchen (breakfast, lunch, and dinner are all cooked by the teenage girls), as well as a printing press (LHI prints all their own materials on site), laundry facilities, and workshop where the older kids can learn a trade.

Lastly, he took us to the Garden of Hope, which is a garden surrounded by a path lined with plaques of donors names - they take new children out there to show how many people love and care for them.

And they've stared construction on Phase 2, which will be dorms for short term mission groups like us, apartments for LHI Missionary families to live in, and meeting rooms for staff.

I was so impressed with how clean and organized Esperanza Viva is - just a beautiful facility that the kids are blessed to have!

After the tour we went with the teens to Nations Church (which was a 45 minute bus ride away) for their Youth Group. On the way there I saw next to Suzy, a 17 year old student. She loves music and we were able to talk about that common bond in Spanglish together. I also talked to Bridget who is a National Missionary at LHI, married to Miguel, and together they are the Nations Church youth leaders. She left Wisconsin at age 20 to become a missionary, and has been there ever since - they now have 3 kids under the age of 3!  

Nations Church is a very big warehouse style building with all the Nation's flags hanging from the ceiling. We set out the chairs and started with a time of worship (in Spanish!), led by Bridget ,Miguel, and Suzy. The kids were jumping around and praising Jesus without a care in the world - so refreshing to see! They are filled with such joy! Miguel preached a small sermon then we played a game with the kids. Our team member Kelly brought a large spool of yarn and we all made a big circle where the beginner held a piece of yarn then tossed the yarn ball to someone else (our team first, then the kids) and said something nice about them. It was neat to hear the teens say deep and genuine things about one another. We then cut the web into bracelets for everyone at the end to remind them of how special they are, and how we are all connected, no matter age or nationality, by Jesus.

On the way home, I sat next to a special girl, Estrella. She didn't speak much English, but I speak enough Spanish and we were able to converse the entire ride home. I showed her my picture book and she excitedly showed me her pictures stored on her MP3 player, including ones her and her sister, friends, and High School Musical. :) She cooks in the kitchen at EV and has dreams of becoming a chef someday. She loves to draw, loves her sister, and is on fire for God.

 

When we got back to our casa, we walked around the campus area. There were a few stray dogs around and one especially cute Keely looking one (we named Ralph) melted my heart. I wasn't allowed to touch or pay attention to him, but I took a few pics.

We had dinner as a group and shared high/lows from the day, which will become a nightly tradition. After dinner, Vanessa was scheduled for a devo and took the time to share a Graham Cook sermon on identity - very good stuff. We were all exhausted from our first day at EV so went to bed!

 

**Some photos taken by me, some taken by other team members!