Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Clean Eating Chicken And Rice Soup

One other aspect to this jumble of a blog is to highlight my cooking skills and favorite recipes! Tyge is always saying "This is so good - write this down and make it again!", and I never do...So this is a way to help me remember what I make and how to make it again! Because he was so sick yesterday, I figured some sort of soup would be good for him, and this was the one: Clean Eating Chicken And Rice Soup.


I totally cheated and used a rotisserie chicken and Trader Joe's frozen brown rice, and it was still fantastic.


Next time I make a "keeper" meal, I'll try to be all fancy and post my own pics, but this link will do for now! :)

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Three Things Tuesday (3TT)

So I suppose started this blog as a way to chronicle happenings, post pictures, write about things I'm thankful for/excited about and to share the desires of my heart. One week ago today was when our miscarriage was confirmed, so obviously the first several posts have been about our recent loss, which has been therapeutic for me. However, I don't want the blog to take a negative turn or be too "woe-is-me", so I want to start "Three Things Tuesday" where I'll list three things I'm thankful for, and three things I'm praying for. I'm hoping I'll be able to look back at these Tuesday posts every so often and find a pattern of answered prayer or lessons God is teaching me, and if anything, it's a visual reminder of all the GOOD I have in my life! Here's today:

Three Things I'm Thankful For:
1. Continued love, support, and prayers from friends and family - even one week later. Specifically the dinner we had with close friends who also recently miscarried last night, and the fact that we were able to share our story with them and sympathize with each other. Not exactly a "club" any of us wanted to be a part of, but nice to share with them and know we're not alone.

2. My physical healing - the lingering symptoms are almost 100% gone!

3. Our upcoming Colorado trip - we leave Thursday morning!!! So excited to visit Evergreen (where Tyge grew up) and see cousins Travis and Karrie and my goddaughter Lila in Fort Collins.


Three Things I'm Praying For:
1. Continued emotional healing for myself - the physical part is mostly done, but I still get some emotional pangs and sadness (which is to be expected) so I'm still praying about it.

2. Tyge to feel better - he started to get sick on Sunday and woke up today with a horrible sore throat and fever. He stayed home today and plans to go to Minute Clinic, so I pray he gets meds and starts to feel better by Thursday!

3. Brother Brian's RPLND surgery at Mayo this Friday - I don't love the idea that Tyge and I will be gone, but they insisted we don't cancel our trip. He'll be at Mayo for a week so we'll see him when we get back, and then he'll have a 3 month healing process once he gets back home, so I'm sure we'll be over there helping as much as we can and as much as they need. It is a very scary surgery, so I'm praying for their surgeon and medical team, and that Brian comes out with as little complications as possible.

With eyes on Him,
Kate

Monday, September 26, 2011

Moving along

I say moving along and not moving ON, because I don't know when I'll ever have 100% moved ON from this. There will always be a little piece of me that wonders who this baby would have been, I will always have love for them, and can't wait to meet them in heaven someday. Come May 21st, I will most certainly wish they were here.

However, I am moving along. I am doing much better physically, mentally, and emotionally than I was last week (I didn't add spiritually because I guess I was never really struggling in that area). I found out last Tuesday, and the rest of the week was such a blur due to meetings with my VP on Wednesday and the all day (12 hour day!) UHG Charity Golf Event on Thursday. I was able to channel "Business Kate" and push my feelings aside for those two days. I worked from home on Friday, then Tyge and I headed to Duluth Saturday morning for a wedding. It was really nice to get out of the house, enjoy a Mexican lunch with his parents on Saturday, then get dressed up and eat yummy food, drink champagne, and dance at the wedding. Yesterday was also really good - Tyge and I slept in, had breakfast overlooking Lake Superior, and spent the day walking along the lake (where our water obsessed lab also swam). We did a little shopping, got some ice cream, had a late lunch, and just enjoyed each other's company. It was really healing to take it easy and have a nice date day with my hunny. We didn't really talk about "it", just had a quiet day as husband and wife.

That being said, I am feeling much better today. I have felt all the prayers coming my way, and friends and family are still checking in via text and email. Jesus truly is the great comforter and healer, and with each day that passes I feel more peace. Writing things down here and being able to process aloud (on a screen?) has helped. Understanding things more also helps - I had a good conversation with Joanie at Generations to answer a few lingering questions. Like I said, last week happened so fast, then I had work functions to attend, so I didn't fully wrap my head around it and ask all the questions I needed to. She was great to talk to today and helped me to understand what had happened, what to expect now, and when to move on. The answer to that is, physically speaking, we are okay to start trying again right away! She made it clear that we need to be ready mentally as well and that may take time, but I think I'll be ready. We so badly desire a child and are as ready as we can be, but do trust in God's timing. I am slightly afraid that the next time we get pregnant, I'll spend the whole first 12 weeks worrying and wondering, so I'll have to ask those around me to pray against that.

So although I'm feeling better today, I am giving myself grace if I feel crappy again tomorrow. Grieving is a process, and I don't want to skip any steps in it or push myself to get back to "normal" too fast. After all, Jesus promises us in Matthew 5:4 "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." Amen!

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Overwhelmed by love

I tell you what, there's nothing like a crisis or tragedy to make you feel loved by those closest to you. God certainly works through those around us to make us feel His love - that much is true. I'm still not sure how to put into words what I'm feeling, so I will stick to detailing out what happened.


Yesterday, I finished as much of the work day as I could and went home around 2 PM. I called my mom on the way home to tell her, and she handled it so well. She didn't cry, didn't ask questions, didn't go overboard, just listened and offered kind advice and love. When she asked if her and dad could bring by dinner and hug me and Tyge, I said yes. I already had soup made from Monday night but sometimes a girl just needs her mom and dad, no matter how old she is. From there I made it home and tried to eat something. I was just about to close my eyes on the couch when Tyge got home and together we sat on the couch and held each other and (I) cried for I don't know how long. He then called his parents, and that was the third time I've seen Tyge cry (our wedding, brother's cancer news, and Marley & Me. He won't admit that last one but I saw a tear). They had all also just learned that Brian would need surgery for his cancerous tumor after 3 months of intense chemo, so it was a rough day for the Blombergs. His parents naturally wanted to come right over, but I wasn't up to seeing many people. My parents came over shortly after that to bring hugs and a yummy dinner. They didn't stay long which was perfect, but offered their love and support. Just what I needed. Tyge and I sat down to eat the yummy chilli and cornbread (and I enjoyed some of the white wine my mom so thoughtfully brought!) and just as we were finishing the doorbell rang.


A few friends knew at this point as Tyge sent out an email (I'll get to that later) but I really didn't want to see anyone. Except Betsy, but she lives an hour away and Tyge had just recently sent the email - there was no way it was her. I "hid" in the dining room and heard a voice asking "Is your wife here?" after he opened the door. It was her. My best friend of 25 years drove an hour just to give me a hug. She ran up the stairs and gave me the fiercest hug, and just when I thought I was all cried out for the day, I cried as I hugged my best friend for 10 minutes straight. She said she felt like she lost a family member, and just wanted to come give me a hug. I cannot put into words how much it meant to me that she dropped everything to drive almost 2 hours roundtrip just to give me a hug. She didn't just ASK what I needed, didn't just OFFER up help, she just showed up. That's a true friend.


In addition to Betsy, Tyge and I are blessed with many other close friends in ours lives, who we couldn't imagine doing life without. It was important for us to tell our parents, Brian and Naomi, and for me to tell Betsy, but we just weren't up to telling everyone else our "Backwards Announcement". So Tyge sent out the below email titled just that:

Hello friends - I'm writing this message to inform you that we miscarried today after being over five weeks along. We found out we were pregnant two weeks ago today, and this past weekend Kate had noticed some bleeding, which has since increased, coupled with a blood test yesterday revealing that her HCG levels are far below where they should be at this stage, hence confirming a miscarriage has occurred.

It's amazing how attached prospective parents can become so quickly. Kate had started a journal reflecting on some of the things that had occurred since she found out including having to wait all day to tell me, my shocked reaction, the excitement that followed, and lots of future planning / thinking. We nicknamed him or her, and were struggling to keep it from family and friends until we were out of "the danger zone" in a few more weeks. We had our ploys set on how to tell parents, family, and friends, and were praying for the little one regularly. After close friends of ours had miscarried, we were both hypersensitive about the subject and started to have unfounded concern.

So here is the deal. Kate and I fully trust in the Lord in all things. We know He loves us very much, and has an amazing plan for our lives. If you guys could ask the Father on our behalf for physical healing for Kate as her body is undergoing some trauma associated with this, and also emotional healing, that would be really special to us. We are truly blessed in every way imaginable, and so thankful to have so much love in our lives from God, Family, and Friends. Along with prayer, Kate said it was ok to be free to send a email\call\text to love on us a little. We don't promise to get back to anything right now, but please know that it is well received.

Love to you all - thanks for being great friends in our lives.
- Tyge & Kate


Since Tyge sent that email Tuesday evening, we've received a barrage of emails and texts from friends saying they love us, are praying for us, are here for us, sharing similar stories, etc. Hearing from them and knowing we have their love and support, don't always have to be the strong ones, and can lean on them at this time means the world to us. Friends and family have dropped cards and flowers off, making our house feel brighter. It doesn't make my heart hurt any less or miss Petrie any less, but man, it feels good to be loved on a little as Tyge said. I am speechless at the outpouring of love we've received these past two days. We are beyond blessed. 


Thank you!!!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Confirmed.

Massive amounts of bleeding this morning. I knew.

Got a call from Joanie at Generations confirming my HCG levels were an 11 - I was miscarrying. I already knew.

She said to expect labor-like cramping and excessive bleeding the next few days, and that I would "pass" the fetus naturally. Petrie.

I'm at work trying not to cry every two minutes and it's not working so well, so I plan to leave after lunch. With the UHG Golf Tourney on Thursday, this is the busiest week of my career, so horrible timing. Many are the plans of man...

I'll call my parents today, Tyge will call his. He's emailing a few close friends with our "backwards announcement".

I know I'll get through this. I know I'll heal both physically and emotionally. I trust that God has a plan for our future family, I really do.

But right now, this just sucks.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Alone

Funny my last post should be about the "M" word...well, not funny really, just ironic.

Tyge was bow hunting this past weekend so I was home alone, which I was really looking forward to! I had a great weekend planned, to include back-to-back episodes of "Say Yes To The Dress" and "Chopped" on Friday night, bringing dinner to my new niece and a date with my mom on Saturday, and church on Sunday followed by chores, napping, watching the Emmy Red Carpet, and waiting for my hunny to get home. The only child in me craves alone time every now and again so I was really looking forward to some! No offense to Tyge... :)

Everything was going fine until I went for a 30 minute run/walk with Keely on Saturday morning and came home to find what no pregnant mom-to-be wants to see - blood. My stomach dropped. It was hard because I had no one to share it with, as Tyge was gone (with no cell service in the woods) and we haven't told anyone yet. Because there wasn't a lot, I decided to wait until Monday to call my clinic and not go to the ER or anything. Saturday was a good day but it was hard to be around my mom and a new baby all day and not say anything. Sunday, the "problem" was still there so I called my clinic's on call nurse line, and the nurse who called me back said it was possibly implantation blood and there was no need to worry. She said I was too early along to have an ultrasound (my first appointment is 10/5) and that if something was happening, to just wait it out and if there was more blood, I'd know. She said from there I could take another pregnancy test in a few weeks and it would most likely be negative if something had happened.

A few WEEKS?

Tyge happened to come in from the woods and call me at the exact moment I hung up with the clinic and I just broke down at the sound of his voice. When he got home, I filled him in and we decided to wait. And pray. And pray some more.

This morning I couldn't take it and called my clinic again, asking if there was anything I could do to find out one way or another rather than just wait until the 10/5 appointment. The awesome nurse, Joanie, said I could come in and have my blood drawn which would test the HCG (pregnancy hormone) levels, then come in again on Wednesday and get them tested again. They should be going up and if not, it's most likely a miscarriage. I'm thankful they could get me in today and just want to know one way or the other, so I can prepare and move on. I know that sounds harsh, but this in between waiting stage is no fun.

Obviously, it is the desire of my heart to have this child. Even though he/she is only five weeks old, I love them so much already. I cannot imagine the amount of love a mother must have for her child, as mine is so great for my unborn, at 5 weeks old. It is great that God created a mother's heart to be so big, and I think he gave me an extra dose of that love. On the other hand, that mother's love causes my heart to hurt at even the idea of something happening to my baby...

There is nothing I can do besides wait. And pray. And pray some more. Like I said in last week's post, if something were to happen it wouldn't change my faith in or love for God in any way! I would fully accept and understand that this wasn't the child that He had intended for us, and He would have something even greater down the road that would be revealed to us later.

But for now, I'm trying not to go there. I'm going about my daily life as if I'm pregnant, though I'm trying to guard my heart and not look at strollers or nursery furniture online. And trying not to kick myself for that $150 worth of maternity clothes I ordered this weekend from Old Navy's online sale.

I cannot put into words how much I desire to have this child, and this has been my hourly prayer these past few days, and will continue to be until I get an answer one way or the other.

Heavenly Father, I know you know what's best for my and my family. Even though I only have a limited view of what's in front of me at the moment, you can see the bigger picture. I fully trust that you have a plan for me, you only want good for me and that you would never give me anything that I couldn't handle. That being said, I would ask for your protection over this little baby inside and that you would help him/her to grow fully. I also know I am not alone in this, I know you are with me. I trust you and your plan, and right now I just pray that your plan and will aligns with my heart's desire. Amen.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Trusting in Him

The "M" word is so scary in these first few weeks - miscarriage.

I have known several women who have had one, two or even three. Apparently one in five pregnancies end up in miscarriage which is unbelievable - 20%! The scariest thing is that there is really nothing you can do or not do to prevent it from happening.

Point in case, most recently, some wonderful friends of Tyge and mine had one...there were really no words I could say to ease the pain, other than assuring them I was praying for physical and emotional healing. 


Tyge and I have also been praying for Petrie since we found out, and I know others will as soon as we tell them. It is the desire of our hearts to have this child, and in delighting ourselves in the Lord we pray it is His will too! However, should something happen if will not change my faith in Him at all for I know that there would be a reason behind it.

I myself believe that God doesn't CAUSE bad things to happen, but He will use them for His glory. As Romans 8:18 (ESV) says, "For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us." So I suggested my friend take comfort in that, as well as anyone experiencing suffering.

That being said, worrying about the potential of something happening does NOTHING, for God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline (2 Timothy 1:7 NLT). This is easier said than done, as the mind is a powerful thing that tends to wander, or mine does anyway. Another verse that helps me take thoughts captive when I start to worry is Philippians 4:6 (NIV), "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

So Dear Lord, I thank you for the blessing of this child inside me and am so grateful that you have entrusted Tyge and I to be parents someday. We promise to raise this baby in a home that loves and honors you. I pray that you watch over little Petrie as he/she grows, and keep him/her safe throughout the entire 40 weeks. Please be with my mind and heart so that I do not worry about things beyond my control, but fully trust in YOU and your promises. Amen!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

The end of summer

To most, Labor Day signals the end of summer, but since it was so cold in MN that weekend it sure didn't seem like summer! This past weekend was just gorgeous, and Tyge and I took the opportunity to have a picnic lunch on the boat Sunday afternoon. We brought Keely girl with and she loved it. She has gotten to be quite the bold little lab this summer on the boat, and took it upon herself to jump off the bow once we anchored for lunch, and spent 20 minutes swimming laps around the boat while we ate. Silly girl.

                                         Keely is sad that summer and boating are over...

Last night because it was such a beautiful breezy, cool "summer" night we decided to sleep on our air mattress in the screen porch. We had done that over Memorial Day weekend and loved it out there! It started out beautiful and I fell asleep quickly listening to the wind and sounds of crickets chirping. However, we woke up several times throughout the night freezing cold as we only had a thin blanket and it got down to 50 degrees. Oops! Then when the neighbor's sprinklers went of at 5 AM, we decided it was time to go back in the house for a few more hours of good (and warm!) sleep! I guess we'll have to wait until next summer to do that again!

Reflecting back on the summer a bit, we had a great one! I wanted to have one "last" fun summer kid-free, and we did. After the 13 weddings in summer 2010, it was nice to have a bit more freedom and we certainly filled our weekends with other fun things!

A few highlights include:
-Buying our first boat - with cash! Wanting something and working hard to save for it felt great, and we put the boat to use many evenings on Gervais Lake as well as some fun Saturday/Sunday afternoons on White Bear and Bald Eagle lakes. We were able to take our parents out fishing, and Tyge and I had several fun boat dates where he would fish and I would lounge on the back deck. Keely girl loved riding in the boat as well, and as illustrated above, learned to jump in the water.
My hunny doing what he does best

-The Gallagan wedding and all the festivities surrounding it. It was so fun to be in a wedding with Tyge, and Bridget and Ryan got married in the same church we did two years prior, so it was fun to relive those memories.
Mr. & Mrs!
Fun in the Studio Booth by Callie V!

-My 28th birthday party hosted by my parents - a fun night indeed! Thanks Mom and Dad for helping to prove you can still be goofy at 28.
Good fun with good friends! Some clearly missed the "goofy pic!" memo...

-My annual birthday trip to Chicago to visit Chelsea (my birthday buddy) and Brad. We brought Keely girl and her and their Max were fast friends.
Celebrating our June 24th birthday together since we were 16!

-4th of July weekend on Swan - fun as ever! Lots of fishing, ran a 10K, had lots of family QT and relaxation. To me, no 4th can ever top 2008, but it was still a great time!

4th of July parade proposal in 2008

-Garry Cabin Weekend - spending time with my family at their lake home was a blast! Fishing, boating, some Irish beverages, late night laughs and songs out by the bonfire, all topped off by being there for my Goddaughter Lila's baptism!
Lila Stone and her momma Karrie

-Breezy Point weekend with friends - our first year going, and hopefully not our last! Lots of fun at the rented cabin, shopping in Nisswa with the girls, hanging out on the sandbar, and dancing at the resort bar!

-Hitting the Top 10 Account Managers for Sapphire - a goal in the making for 4 years!

-State Fair with my Dad on Labor Day - hitting all the usual spots for some good father/daughter time and celebrating one year since he's been cancer free! Praise God!
Camera phone pic while taking a break

-The birth of our beautiful new niece Lark Renee, also on Labor Day at 5:58 AM - 7lb 10oz of pure baby girl joy!
With dad, Brian
And mom, Naomi

 -The news that brother Brian was found to be cancer free, after 3 months of intense chemo - the power of prayer!
Tyge attending an 8 hour chemo session with Brian - he shaved his head in solidarity!

-Finding our new church, Woodland Hills, and being excited to get more involved there! 

There were, of course, many more fun memories from our summer but that's just a few top ones. Looking forward to this fall which will be busy and filled with hunting trips, this winter with the holidays and hopefully some down time, then this spring which will bring the best memory of all - the baby!

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Hiding

Since none of our friends and family know about "Petrie" as we are so affectionately calling him/her, it's good to have an outlet to write about things until we tell (and also make the blog public)! Speaking of which, we've decided to tell parents at 6 weeks, close friends and extended family around 8 weeks, and everyone else after 12 weeks. Being that I am the worst secret keeper in the WORLD, this will be very hard for me! There are certain people we want to be sure to tell in person, so I'll be posting how that goes as we get to them.

Anyway, until we tell, I'm hiding it. Which is hard to do when your friends know you like to have a glass of wine or a beer, and *may* be suspicious if you didn't. Especially when the weekend after you find out you have a 10 year high school reunion and close friend's birthday party, with people there who know you well...Luckily after this weekend we don't have too much going on until we plan to tell so it shouldn't be too hard to "hide", but last night was interesting.

We started out by going to a friend's house (Katrina's brother actually) who lived close to the venue, and so we could carpool with Katrina and Brian. Tyge and I brought a few bottles of dark beer to share, with the idea that I would excuse myself to the bathroom after opening one, dump it down the sink (oh the horror!!!) and fill it with water. Everything was going according to plan, until I realized the glass bottle wouldn't fit under the faucet, no matter which way I turned it! I mildly panicked, until I realized the homeowners had kids. Kids = bathtub toys. I pulled open the shower curtain to find a kiddy toy with a "cup" in it - YES! I filled the cup with sink water, dumped it into my beer bottle, and repeated until the bottle was full. My new beverage tasted like soapy, slightly hoppy, warm sink water. Yum.

The rest of the night was easy enough - I made friends with the bartender at the venue right away and asked him to remember me, so that every time I ordered a vodka soda it was just soda water. He obliged, and no one suspected a thing.

I tell you what though, Petrie is WELL worth the hiding, but I can't wait until we can share the news!

Friday, September 9, 2011

A new moment I'll never forget...

There are several special moments in my life that I remember many details of, but mainly the look on my husband's face. I'll never forget the look on his face on our first date on 4/27/07 as we were dancing to "The Way You Move" by Outkast. I'll never forget the look on his face the day he proposed, down on one knee in the middle of the Naswauk 4th of July parade on 7/4/08.

I'll never forget the look on his face as I walked down the aisle towards him and as we exchanged vows at our wedding on 3/28/09.



And now, I'll never forget the look on his face as I told him we were having a baby this past Tuesday, 9/6/11.

I guess you could say we've been trying for a few months, but neither of us expected it to happen so soon! I had felt a little "off" all weekend, so took a test that morning and lo and behold, there were two lines instead of one. It confirmed what I already knew in my heart, but seeing those two lines still floored me! I felt a rush of emotions, but Tyge had already left for work so I had no one to share them with besides Keely girl, and she didn't quite get it. I knew I wanted to tell Tyge in person so it took everything within me to not call or text him throughout the day! Let's be honest, I got NO work done that day and instead spend the entire day on Baby Center, looking at nursery pictures, and Googling things galore. I also spent a great deal of time deciding how I wanted to tell Tyge and came up with an idea I loved. Together we had talked about finally getting a nice Nikon DSLR camera when we found out we were pregnant, and I had to stop at Costco on my way home so planned to pick up information on the camera we wanted and give it to him saying, "It's time to start shopping!". Of course, Costco didn't have any literature on the camera, but I found something even better....As I was pushing my cart past the clothing area, I saw a table of baby clothes and a cute little outfit with a tiger on it that read "Mommy's Little Tiger". Perfect.

Surprise hunny - we're having a baby!!!

Luckily when I got home, Tyge was outside with the dog so I rushed in the house with the outfit and "evidence stick" and set them out on the kitchen counter. I shouted at him to please bring the other groceries in from my car. When he came in the house and set them down, I pointed to the counter and said "I got something else at Costco". He took a close look at it, then looked even closer, and stepped back saying "Shut up!" - I believe he also punched my arm in surprise, but I won't hold that against him. :) We immediately hugged and decided to go out to dinner to celebrate. That was one of the best conversations we've ever had, involving how to tell our family and friends, baby names, nursery colors, and so much more.

As of today I am almost 4 weeks along, so we have a long road ahead of us. A scary, exciting, nerve wracking, heart pumping road ahead of us. We'll need a lot of prayer and encouragement, that's for sure! Luckily, there are many of our friends and family who have been down this road, and a few going down it right now, so that brings comfort.

Each moment and look on my husband's face seems to top the one before, and I know that on 5/21/12 (if baby comes on time!), I'll witness the best look on Tyge's face yet.