Monday, February 20, 2012

First Tri Recap - Humbled

Another wordy post ahead - still getting caught up on first tri things...So after some of our friends and family knew, life went about as normal for us. I still wasn't looking at nursery photos online, wasn't researching baby items, it wasn't consuming me like it did the first time around. The first week after we found out was a bit nerve wracking for me - I'd be nervous every time I went to the bathroom and did worry about another miscarriage. One thing that helped was the realization that there was nothing I could do to cause or prevent it from happening again, and the first time was just me being the unlucky 1 in 4.

The thing that helped me the most was, duh, prayer. We obviously prayed for the health of the growing baby, but what helped me the most was our prayer that God guard our hearts. I tend to get so wrapped up in something that I'm excited about and want to plan it out 100% right from the get-go. I knew I couldn't do that again but didn't have the willpower myself to just NOT, so that's where prayer was so necessary. Tyge and I prayed for that cautious optimism and protection from getting too excited and ahead of ourselves, and God really came through for me especially in that area. After about week 5 I just felt this calm - I wasn't anxious or nervous, and I forgot I was pregnant half the time! I was so amazed by and thankful for God's faithfulness in protecting my heart in that area.

Weeks 5 through 7 were pretty good symptom-wise and I was able to eat normally and work out 3 times a week - pregnancy was a breeze! Somewhere around mid-weeks 7 I started to get the intense nausea, though no throwing up thank goodness. I really couldn't eat much and even when I could stomach it, nothing sounded good. I was so tired all the time that I stopped working out (aside from some walking on nice days) and slept any free moment I could. I am so used to be able to multi-task and find pride in being able to "do it all"! However, these past few weeks have been very humbling as I realize that I can't do it all right now and need to admit that. I have learned to be okay with not having a perfectly clean house, cooking healthy and blog worthy meals every night, and attending all the social events I am used to. Working my demanding 40-50 hour/week job has been enough for me, so in my spare time I haven't been up to doing much else.

Thankfully I have a supportive husband who pitches in to clean without asking, has assumed all care for Keely (besides lab snuggling of course - I can still do that), and cooks delicious and healthy meals for us. He even made me turkey bacon THREE ways when I had a craving - what a guy. :) I've had to skip a few bible studies and birthday parties because I didn't feel up to going, and I'm learning to be okay with saying no during this time. And while I'd like to think it is only temporary, perhaps it's to prepare me for when the baby actually comes! I know I won't be able to keep my pace of life the way it was and take care of a baby, so maybe this is God's natural way of slowing busy supermoms-to-be down a notch in order to prep them for life with a baby.

Now that I'm passing the 13 week mark the bad symptoms are starting to fade and I am feeling more "myself", but this first tri has been an amazing and humbling experience. And not that I didn't know it, but it's been a wonderful reminder of how incredible my husband is - I couldn't have made it through without him and am so thankful to have him as my partner in all of this. 

I cannot believe I am almost to the second trimester and cannot wait to experience more of this pregnancy - despite the symptoms, I am loving every minute of it and fully realize how blessed I am to be a mom-to-be!  

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